So...Im not good at updating this blog or Facebook

Rachael's cousin Portia, Samara from preschool, and the Biscuit. The girls had fun today at the park.

Rachael and I have seats at the OCPA center. She loves her theater. She enjoyed Grease, but is really excited for Chitty Chitty Bang Bang!

Just a random day at Disneyland. Yes, I know we are spoiled living in SoCal.

The three amigos: Rachael 5, Makayla 3, and Mia 4. These girls are so funny! This was after the dish soap in the jacuzzi afternoon. They had fun. I cant wait to see how these girls grow up together....best of buds like their mommas.

I have lost interest in both Facebook and my blog in the last few months. I still like to check everyone elses out, I just havent felt like updating my post. No excuses, just dont feel like it. I do have things going on, and I do want to share, I am just lazy right now about writing about them.

I'll do a real fast catch up, and then I'm going back to spending time away from my computer again. It's summer people - and I am LOVING IT!!!!

Weight loss: so far down 32 pounds, the surgery is not a magic bullet...but it has given me the motivation to be at the gym 6 days a week and I feel pretty good.

Naters: same...have I really posted anything about him? Haha...well, he is just fine. Busy with work, softball, and his new summer position as the back yard chef.

Rachael: Enjoying her summer! The last one before kindergarten (it makes my eyes water just a bit thinking about that). She has only been out of preschool for one week and has had plans everyday with friends keeping her (and us) busy. We have been loving it! We decided not to do any camps or anything organized besides vacation bible school to allow ourselves plenty of beach and lazy days.

I have been cheating with FaceBook

Family picture from a wedding we attended this last weekend.  Excuse my daughter's silly face, she refused to wear her sunglasses we brought for her - silly girl.

Im so behind on updating my blog.  Im sorry.  I have gotten numerous emails from friends and people from the hospital who want to know how things are going.  Things are great!  With all the time I take out of my day for my new life style, and I can't lie - facebook - I'm super lagging on my blog.  Facebook sucked me in.  I was checking to see what everyone was doing ALL the time.  Well, with the weather being so nice the past few days I am realizing that I cant keep that up anymore.  So, I am only going to check FB only when I work and try to update my blog every other week or so.

I will post something in the next few days scouts honor!  It will not be as frequent any more in reference to my weight loss - that bit of information is being posted on a private hospital website.    I do want to get better at updating my daughter's little journeys and still keep up with my responsibilities at home.  Thank you all for your emails and support - its been awesome!  I will keep my updates current through the hospital for all of my friends who check this and are considering wls.  

I WENT MAD I TELL YOU...MAD!

Two weeks prior to surgery I was put on a restricted 600 calorie protein shake diet.  THIS MADE ME CRAZY

It is cruel and unusual punishment to only have 3 protein shakes a day and water.  I was plugging away on WW before this for 6 weeks and had lost 9 pounds.  It was kind of slow, but I was loosing weight and eating food.  Well, needless to say being significantly restricted down to the shakes was hard.  It was mental challenge as well as physical.  Even by the first evening I was hungry - crabby hungry - and yes, I chose to work some overtime.  Even reminding myself while I was sitting at work that I was there to earn 6 hours time off didn't matter.  I had a pretty interesting internal conversation in my head that evening...I think I found my "Cybil" if you will that night.  She (Cybil) was telling me to blow it on the first night and screw the skinny nutritionist who said it is easy the first day.  Ha ha - it didn't get any easier.  My stomach growled - LOUDLY!  I have never known my stomach to do that.  It's well oiled machine my stomach.  I feed it, and feed it, and make it nice and happy.  When you are that hungry it actually hurts.  There is a pain in your belly.  Who the hell knew that could happen? I sure as hell didn't.  So that's my first night.

After that it got harder with the physical hunger pains.  I was in tears at home, but home was so much easier than work.  I can control the food that was coming in and out of my home - at work, not so much.  I was lusting after Girl Scout cookies in the first week.  It was bad, oh so bad. 

Then the hunger pains awoke the freaking mental nut in me and she had her way with my head.  For a week my brain was like a ping pong ball being tossed around on what to do.  I thought to myself, if I can stay on 600 calorie a day diet and get a personal trainer why do I need surgery.  Then I went to the blogs.  Oh sweet Lord the blogs.  They were NOT helpful.  A bunch of fatties writing in a forum about how bad and horrible things are going.  Most whine about the fat not melting off.  Some have gnarly horror stories about after the surgery.  And a few are just plane pathetic!  I was reading where one person was rambling about eating everything in sight and gaining ten pounds.  This bit of information sounded fabulous right? 

Ok.  So now I am a week into starving to death, turning into a wack-a-do, and here's the best part...I GAINED A MOTHER FUCKING POUND!  Oh yah folks, that time I meant it and I have no apologies.  I guarantee if you starve yourself for a week ( okay, I know I wasn't starving, but 600 calories in liquid form is starving to a fatty) you would learn to use much more than the F word.  And the crazy lunatic in me decides to stay on this starvation plan to see if I would catch up the next week.

Week one over, week two its on.  If you are in the process of psyching yourself up for the pre-op diet do yourself a favor...avoid all invitations of parties or going out.  It is not worth it.  I went to a bridal shower for a dear friend and the food looked and smelled like heaven.  Seriously, going out is a fat kid's Prozac.  Needless to say week two is a major mind - fill in the blank.  My brain was like a ping pong ball going back and forth on whether or not to go through with this surgery.  I began to think if I could just stay on a diet and hire a personal trainer maybe it would work with out surgery.  I talked to my friends and family ALLOT during this second week on what to do.  

For some reason I found myself at the hospital March 23rd all gowned up and ready to go ....

I'm Going To Share

Me.  Doing what I do best.  Having a good time, at a fun place, and eating sushi!

I am pretty open about everything.  Those of you that I have talked to in person I have let in on my not so little "secret".  I had a weight loss surgery this week and a lot of my friends and family have had questions.  Also, before the procedure I was looking up different blogs on how this procedure has worked for others.  I thought I could do the same if it could help some one else with any questions they might have.  So, for those of you who don't want to read about my ups and downs through this and only log on to check in on Rach and the family, let me know and maybe I will do another blog just on my procedure information.

In the beginning...(haha - like anything in my life is that dramatic!)  I was referred by my regular physician to undergo weight loss surgery due to the amount of time I have been overweight and my family history of diabetes and heart disease.  This was two years ago.  I thought, "I don't have any medical issues like other fatties.  I'm a confident, healthy, pretty hip fatty."  I was just going to have to succeed on a diet one more time.   I tried many, some that I hid and some that I did not.  After soul searching - and honestly another demand this last fall by my doctor I decided to look more into it.

My options were the gastric bypass or the lap band.  I chose the lap band.  The gastric bypass has too many limitations for me, and the idea of having my stomach re-routed directly to my poop shoot didn't exactly thrill me.  Also, the gastric bypass is more evasive and not reversible.  However, people loose a significant amount of weight with the gastric bypass.  That idea was pretty enticing, but I still thought it was not the choice for me.  Hell, for years I have thought both were crazy and people who underwent them were out to fucking lunch (sorry, but I felt very passionately about it at the time).

So, last fall I started going to meetings and therapy and other doctors to see what they had to say.  It was the same thing from every direction.  Get the lap band.  Use it as ONLY a tool.  Get your head ready for changing my body the way I want it to be.  Get used to changing my eating and exercise habits ( funny - exercise habits, the only habit I have with exercise is that I hate it and I am not consistent ).

December met my surgeon.  

January started Weight Watchers with a friend from work (whom is doing fantastic on it by the way - I am so excited for her!  I have never met another gal that I can honestly say deserves to look as beautiful on the outside as she is on the inside - truly she is a wonderful person!)

February started doing the pre-surgery appointments and got a surgery date of March 23rd.

March 9th started the two week 600 calorie a day protein shake.  - Oh, good Lord, I am so sorry to all of my co-workers.  I had a difficult time on this at work.  Living on protein shakes can make a fat girl who loves food a little bitter (not to mention jealous of what the others packed in their lunch bag for work that day - damn skinny bitches! - j/k girls, you know I love you if are reading this).

The two weeks pre-band protein shake.  Those of you whom are looking into having this surgery this is a HUGE step in the process and I want to share my experience with you because I wish I could have found a blog that would have given me some insight on it.  Next blog to come later.  This rambling has been long enough ( oh my, but what great therapy - who would have thought!)

Just A Simple Afternoon

My monkey girl!

Daddy really should have brought his own bike.  And I think he needs to pull up his shorts!

We have been spending a lot of time at home just relaxing and hanging out.  Yesterday we took a little walk to the park by our house.  Nothing exciting - probably the same things you do everyday too, but I just felt like putting these pictures on here.

Our First "Incident"

Yesterday we had our first little incident.  The school calls and wants to advise us that Rachael is okay but something happened at lunch bunch.  She chipped a tooth.  

A nice shot up her nose...but really I haven't had much to share lately and this is the most excitement we have had.  She was playing with the boys, got bumped and fell to the ground.  She chipped her upper left tooth (sorry, my camera does not zoom in that close - that's a whole new blog on how I want a better camera).
Well, we went to the DDS - whom Rachael LOVES, and the took some x-rays, smoothed her tooth out, and viola!  Good as new!!!

Poppa & Daddy's Birthday Dinner

                                                                                                                                                                                                                         We did Birthday dinner at our house this year for Poppa and Daddy.  It was Rachee's first day of her new swimming class so we had everything prepared and ready to go during the day for the evening.  I made a scallop, shrimp, and mahi lemon picatta pasta for dinner.  Of corse a pasta dinner is not complete with out a yummy salad and bread to go with it!  For desert we had chocolate molten lava cakes - they were a little undercooked, but we all decided the yummy molten middle is the best part anyways.

For Dad's birthday we got him a new pair of sunglasses.  He usually wears a nice pair of DSO's, but we decided he needed to go beyond nice.  We hooked him up with COOL DSO sunglasses.

M-I-A

I'm sorry.  I'm not even going to make up a story about how busy I have been (although I have been busy, February is a busy month in our house).  I have been sucked into the FB zone.  Those of you who read this know what that is.  And even if you don't check in and see how we are doing by a little phone call or e-mail, you have talked to Nathan or I via Facebook.

Well,  I'm sad to say but I might not keep my blog going for too much longer.  I started this to keep up with friends and family that live elsewhere, but now we have all seemed to have moved to ...facebook.  

Rachael's birthday was our big event for February, I posted those pictures on facebook.  I was posting recipes every so often on my little family blog, but I don't think that will be happening anymore.  So, for now I am not going to delete my blog, but I have nothing exciting to post that isn't already out there on the Internet.

I am however possibly thinking of keeping my journal about my upcoming adventure in weight loss surgery and possibly posting that on my blog.  Although, Im not even sure how interesting that will be.  Lemme know what you think friends.  And if I dont hear from you, I will chat with you on FB!

OBAMANATION

What the hell? Why are we having a inauguration concert when we are having a huge economic slump? And why are people rocking out and dancing on top of the Lincoln Memorial?

My heart is aching while I'm being tortured by this atrocious behavior. I'm at work and have no choice on what goes on the television. And now I have read that a cable network has purchased the rights to the actual inauguration? Seriously? Now our history has a price? I'm thinking about moving to Canada.

Instead of my tax payment I think I'm going to mail the government my concert wish list since that appears to be the business they are now in .

I could go on and on about how disapointed I am in this whole debaucle, but I have to stop or I am going to give myself an anruism.

Technology

Is it good or bad? I find myself asking that often. In my work environment it is wonderful - it can't be fast or good enough (as I am sure is the case with most of you). In my personal life such as keeping up with friends and family it is a little of both. I used to love to get letters in the mail from a friend or risk passing a note in class with the possibility of it getting intercepted by a teacher. And a hand written letter was so personable, I knew that my friend took time writing it to me, as I did he or she. But, on the other hand if I want to send my hubby a quick " I love you " I can and with in seconds have a response via text. Or if I'm lost in the concrete jungle my phone can tell me where I am going and how to get there. (Seriously, my phone has some killer stuff on it.)

When it comes to raising our children is this technology better? I'm sure this question is debated lots of places by plenty. The reason I have really been kicking this around is because yesterday my husband and I got our 4 almost 5 year old daughter an ipod shuffle. This thing is pretty neat. I can monitor what she is listening to (because I load it), limit the volume decibels, and use it for her books on CD - which by the way her and I both are addicted to. Dont get me wrong, I still think it is sooooo important to read to her - and I enjoy doing so. I am embracing the times of modern technology, but is my daughter going to miss out on things? Will she ever know about passing a note in class or know the joys of the library? The smells of the books and newly sharpened pencils? Or will she just jump straight on the internet to help her get homework done? Is this normal to feel so worried about technology taking away from the good times she could have doing things the "old fashion" way?

PS She has an akward face in this picture only because she is busy talking about her new shuffle while I am taking her picture.

One last Christmas Picture

I know, all Christmas decorations are put away and we are all trying to move on into the new year.  But I had to.  I just skipped all of December because we had so much going on, but I couldn't resist putting this in.  We had a Christmas party at the house with Mr & Mrs Clause.  The girls had such a good time.  I can honestly say it was one of my most favorite Christmas's ever!